The Last Ten Minutes vol. 3: A Quick One
Here are three that’ve been hanging about for the last couple months because I haven’t felt like watching any more awful movies lately. Seven Pounds (2008, Gabriele Muccino) After flashing-back to the...
View ArticleThe Last Ten Minutes vol. 4: Shocktober
Welcome to a special SHOCKtober edition of The Last Ten Minutes, in which I find horror movies on Netflix streaming which I may have actually been tempted to watch (because I am stupid and will watch...
View ArticleThe Girlfriend Experience (2009, Steven Soderbergh)
While Soderbergh’s studio movies with George Clooney and Matt Damon have been humming along at a regular pace, he’s been inconsistent with his smaller, more personal movies: Bubble and Girlfriend...
View ArticleThe Last Ten Minutes vol. 6
Netflix Streaming has got a bunch more movies I would never pay to rent, but which I might watch for free if I was sick or something. I’m sick today, so here goes. Prince of Persia (2010, Mike Newell)...
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I Want To Go Home (1989, Alain Resnais)
A comedy with grating performances and no jokes. One of the central points of the movie is this crude American cartoonist who is only appreciated by Parisian intellectuals, possibly in reference to...
View ArticleThe Last Ten Minutes vol. 007
Oh look, netflix streaming has a whole bunch of James Bond movies. I never watched them consistently, saw a couple all the way through and a bunch more in fragments on cable. So this is an attempt to...
View ArticleThe Hunger Games (2012, Gary Ross)
Just like the book, plus a bunch of good actors (hello, Jennifer Lawrence and Woody Harrelson), minus all depth or feeling, and with the worst camerawork I’ve seen in years. Ross made Pleasantville and...
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King Lear (1987, Jean-Luc Godard)
This is the fifth post-’68 Godard movie to put me to sleep, after Letter to Jane, Histoire(s) du Cinema (in installments), In Praise of Love and Notre Musique (in a theater). In this case, I was tired...
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2000 Maniacs (1964, Herschell Gordon Lewis)
It is my dad’s fault that I’ve wanted to see this for so long, since he mentioned it years ago. I figured it’d be pretty bad, but I didn’t count on it being a self-conscious bit of low-budget camp...
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A Horrible Way To Die (2012, Adam Wingard)
A Horrible Movie To Watch Okay, I’ll try a little harder. Sarah (Amy Seimetz of Joe Swanberg’s Silver Bullets and Alexander the Last) meets a nice guy (Joe Swanberg himself) at an AA meeting. Turns out...
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Return to Salem’s Lot (1987, Larry Cohen)
As Nathan Rabin might say, this film is quite poor. But look who co-stars: It opens, as all respectable horror films do, with a tribal ritual sacrifice. Maverick tough guy journalist Michael Moriarty...
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The Handmaid’s Tale (1990, Volker Schlondorff)
A real stinker of a bland-looking generic 1980’s movie, starring Natasha Richardson (Mary Shelley in Gothic) as a “handmaid” in the future whose job is to get pregnant for rich barren women (Faye...
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The Maze (1953, William Cameron Menzies)
Oh this was awful! The worst, slowest, MST3K-worthy British (“made in Hollywood USA,” the end titles promise, but trust me) “horror” movie, back when horror meant anything out of the ordinary. And yeah...
View Article31 (2016, Rob Zombie)
What a disappointment after the great Lords of Salem. All I can think is that Zombie was contractually obligated to deliver another full-length movie by the end of 2016, and after touring his band...
View ArticleThe Last Ten Minutes vol. 20: Award-Winning Edition
The Sea of Trees (2015, Gus Van Sant) Just for a change of pace, let’s start with something that played in competition at the Cannes Film Festival, by a director I’ve often loved. McConaughey is...
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Hellraiser 10: Judgment (2018, Gary Tunnicliffe)
I’d been calling this Hellraiser 9, deciding the 2011 semi-reboot Revelations shouldn’t count, but then, do any of them count? Everything since part two has been direct-to-video fan-fiction. It’s time...
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Doctor Sleep (2019, Mike Flanagan)
“Running away from myself, I guess.” From the moment Ghost Scatman appeared to dump exposition, we know this is gonna be a big obvious movie. This was my token stinker of the month, which I watched in...
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Our Lady of the Turks (1968, Carmelo Bene)
Rare is the movie that makes me daydream about making my own movies. I have no particular vision or story, no equipment or skill, no network of collaborators, no funds, no interest. But all during this...
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